


Now I stand here...

by tamamushigami



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-21 23:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22272130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamamushigami/pseuds/tamamushigami
Summary: Sometimes it just hits him how much he loves Chinen.
Relationships: Chinen Yuri/Yamada Ryosuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Now I stand here...

**Author's Note:**

> So, YamaChii day is happening and I decided to try and write down some feelings. I'm still massively overwhelmed after seeing them live for the first time in 12 years (I even got to go twice and hit for arena the second time ;~~~~; ) and I haven't written YamaChii in so long. I miss them, I really do. For now, this will do.

It was a normal day off for both of them, one in a long time, the past weeks filled with preparations and rehearsals for the last shows of their tour, and they finally found some time to wander outside. The walls inside had felt suffocating and they had spent so much time inside already, it had been time to go out, despite the day almost being over. 

The sun was barely setting, a few rays of sunlight still hit the road they walked on and the water in the river beside them. They could hear the faint sound of cars driving by in the distance, everyone trying to rush home after their long days at work and Yamada thought to himself how nice it had felt earlier to not go to work. 

His body had automatically woken up at an ungodly hour, ready to throw him into another crazy workday, telling him that he was already late but the sound of Chinen sleeping soundly beside him had stopped him from getting up from the bed. 

Just looking down at the other had calmed his rapidly beating heart and filled it with fondness instead. Reminded him that there was no need to work today, no need to get up and no need to leave his love alone. He had reached out to brush away a few strands of hair from Chinen’s face, watching him scrunch his nose at the motion. 

Then he had felt something tugging on his shirt and of course, it was Chinen demanding more attention, even in sleep. Smiling, Yamada had tucked himself back into bed, adjusted the blanket over the both of them, before embracing Chinen, basking in the feeling of comfort.

Part of him wanted to resign so he could have that every day for the rest of his life but he knew that Chinen wouldn’t be happy about it. No matter what everyone said about him being the ultimate idol and prince, it was nothing compared to what Yamada thought about Chinen. 

It could be at random times during rehearsals that he had to stop whatever he was doing and just stare at Chinen. Watch him move and breathe. Watch him being effortlessly professional yet putting in so much hard work into every single thing. Genius, talented, natural or simply being Chinen didn’t matter. Chinen put in more effort into himself than he gives himself credit for, and Yamada knows it all. He’d get scolded every time it happens but he never let it get to him because if the others saw what he saw in Chinen, they’d do the same. 

Chinen was breathtakingly gorgeous, through and through. 

Like the ripples on water, Yamada felt his emotions take over, one by one until he couldn’t hold back anymore, heart speeding up, shortage of breath, and the tears started to fall. He stopped to wipe away the falling tears but they wouldn’t stop, they just kept falling. 

Chinen turned around immediately, noticing that Yamada wasn’t beside him anymore, looking slightly confused and worried at first before he realized why Yamada was crying. 

He smiled gently at his ace before speaking up.

“Do you like me that much, Ryosuke?”

Yamada couldn’t muster an answer because he knew Chinen was just joking. Chinen knew. Of course, Chinen knew. Chinen always knew how much he likes the other, even before he knew it himself. He just nodded his head while trying to hide his ugly crying. 

Nothing really helps when you love someone this much.

He could barely see Chinen’s face through the tears, his vision blurry due to it, but it didn’t matter. If it was Chinen’s face, he already knew every inch of it. 

The fine lines around his nose that scrunch up every time Chinen smiles, the way the corner of his lips are always pointed upward, lips which never seem to get chapped, his long eyelashes that fall softly onto his cheeks when he closes his eyes, the way his eyes sparkle with interest whenever something happens, how they darken when he wants something, how they seem to hold a meaning bigger than life itself, how expressive his eyebrows are, how defined his jawline is when you look at him in certain angle, how masculine he looks whenever the cameras are not on him, the small mole on his right earlobe, all the moles only he get to see, and the way the corner of his eyes crinkle when he’s enjoying something. 

He simply loves everything about Chinen Yuri and words are not enough. 

Words couldn’t even begin to describe the immense amount of adoration, respect, gratefulness, admiration, and desire he feels for Chinen.

All he could muster was to stare. 

His words were a jumbled mess between sobs but he at least could tell Chinen one thing. 

“I love you, I love you so much.”

It was a simple summary because he could never, ever, in any lifetime, be able to describe his love for Chinen with just words. Larger than life. 

He’d fall in love with Chinen every lifetime. Over and over again. There’s no life without Chinen. If he isn’t by Chinen’s side, it’s not a life he’d want. 

Every step he’ll take is another step with Chinen. Every stage they enter, it’s with Chinen. Every dream he has is one he’ll achieve with Chinen. 

Chinen stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Yamada, patting his back gently as he held him close, the two of them alone on the sidewalk. He grasped onto Chinen’s jacket, pulling him closer, as close as they could possibly be, as he sobbed onto Chinen’s shoulder. 

He could feel Chinen petting his hair, fingers threading through his hair, briefly brushing against his skin on his neck, lingering there before repeating it - the exact way he did to Chinen all the time, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at their switched positions right now, but Chinen had always been the bigger person. Always been the one carrying his sorry ass. Always moving forward. Always.

Yamada felt smaller, smaller than Chinen and it wasn’t a bad feeling at all because it was Chinen. Everything is okay if it’s with Chinen.

To Yamada, Chinen is where his heart belongs.


End file.
